But I Promised You Forever
by Carly Cisco
Summary: AU. Santana works as a doctor in Dayton County Hospital and she meets Brittany Pierce, whom she fell in love with. But what if a mistake as fatal as donating the HIV-positive blood to Brittany happens? Leave me reviews, guys. They keep me up. I love you.
1. Chapter 1: The Dancer

Santana Lopez hardly closed her eyes when her alarm started its annoying beep again. The cardiac surgeon muttered something in Spanish before standing up and draping herself with a fresh pair of white gowns.

"Dr. Lopez to ER 3, stat." The P.A. seemed to yell everything at Santana.

"Alright, fine. Now shut up," Santana walked out of the doctor's function room and hurried to the said room.

"Hey. Lopez!" A blonde doctor called her while she was running. "In good shape today huh?"

"Yup," Santana nodded to the blonde doctor an half-ran across the hallway and ran towards the ER.

It was her last hours of her night-shift duty, and night-shift duties are just the worst a doctor can suffer. Santana was already thinking of a good bath and a nice, good sleep when she gets home.

The brunette doctor went past the glass doors and looked at her patient, who was laying solidly on his bed.

"Mr. Cowell? Mr. Cowell?" The brunette looked straight at the man's dilated pupils.

"How long had it been Mike?" Santana turned to an Asian guy wearing blue scrub clothes.

"Ten…fifteen minutes…no one knows, Santana," Mike said, his eyes dropping low to the ground. He knew how much of a perfectionist Dr. Santana Lopez was.

"Fuck," Santana growled. The cardiac doctor took a scalpel and slit the guys chest, exposing the heart itself. She then massaged it and waited fr it to beat, albeit weakly. A few more clenches and Mike stood there, rooted and unable to move.

The heart started to beat faster. Santana put it back carefully to the slit, then looked at Mike.

"Stitch that for me, Mike," Santana said, no more than a grumble as she threw her gloves to ta trash bin. She made her way across the room and never bothered to look back. Her black wristwatch beeped. As a reflex, the doctor stared at her arm.

_It's time to see Rosa._

Rosa Goldberg was a patient of hers who took her attention the very first day they met. She was almost fifty-five, and is ailing with heart failure. Santana really liked her, but somehow Rosa had the weirdest of sorts. She keeps a deck of tarot cards beside her and tries to mumble incoherent things as Santana checks her charts.

Rosa was sitting up on her bed, staring out into the grey skies.

"Hey, Rosa," Santana mumbled as she leaned on the foot of Rosa's bed and checked her vitals.

_All good._

"A dancer," Rosa said without averting her eyes from where she was looking.

"What?" Santana's brows furrowed.

"You will fall in love with a dancer."

"Geez, Rosa, you're the only waking patient that I have," Santana growled. "Are you a dancer?" She added as a tease.

"I can say you haven't met him yet."

"Ha-ha, Rosa, I don't think you're right," Santana let out a chuckle. After all, Santana was a lesbian. She'd go for girls instead of men.

The doctor took the charts and left the room. Rosa was the last patient she'll have that day and the moment she stepped out of the door, she was already thinking of her comfy bed.

"Dr. Santana Lopez, please proceed to ER 2…"

Santana had to curse the PA system. One day she'd end that contraption.

She walked into the ER in her scrub clothes. A blonde was lying weakly on the bed.

"What the hell happened?" She demanded.

"She had a sever cupric imbalance…resulting to heart weakness," Quinn, the hospital's head nurse explained.

"Her name?"

"Pierce, Brittany Susan."

Santana moved over the blonde. She was almost like her age, maybe roughly the same as her, take or leave a few years.

"Am I going to die?" Brittany whispered weakly.

"No. I won't let you," Santana said, very much to her surprise, it did not feel like a routine. It did not feel like she was just saying it.

Santana knew that in her damned heart she meant it. Not just as a doctor.

"Are you my doctor?" Brittany looked up to

"Yes, uhh…Brittany," Santana said. She stared into the deep blue eyes that reminded her so much of sapphires.

Half an hour passed and the doctor had removed her gloves and tossed them to the trash bin. She looked to the guy who was sititng on a waiting chair. The man's hair was dishevelled. His eyes were laced with worry.

"Well, , I'm going to go home now, and she's fine, for the time-being. Are you her husband?" Santana asked a brown-haired man who was looking very worried.

"No, I'm her…friend. We worked together," Finn Hudson said, and looked towards the sleeping Brittany. "Will she be safe?"

"Uhh, yeah. As long as her copper traces in the body will stay at a tolerant level," Santana said dismissively.

"Alright then, I need you to sign the admittance papers on the nurses' desk. Now, if you'll excuse me," Santana made her way through the door, glancing softly to the blonde-haired girl that was sleeping on the hospital bed.

Santana Lopez drove across the highway with the blonde on her mind. She pulled up in her driveway in Lima Heights Adjacent. The Latina flopped herself onto her white-covered bed and kicked off her shoes.

The brunette slept immediately as her head touched the pillow. Yet, that sleep was not as uneventful as the usual sleeps that she had.

_Santana was standing on the deck of the yacht when she saw a commotion in the water. She looked down to see it clearly. Someone was drowning. Santana hurried out to help. A hand shot up and to the Latina's surprise, she had easily managed to catch the hand. She pulled out the person out of the water easily. Suddenly, as she was halfway then, it became imposibble to pull the person out of the water. Santana started to panic and looked at the person as if she was searching for a reason what the hell had happened. To her surprise, she's met with the same blue eyes she had seen earlier that day._

_It was Brittany._

_The blonde yelped for help when Santana felt and saw Brittany being pulled down to the water. The Latina tugged and pulled her back up, but to no avail. Santana could feel the frail, pale hands slipping from her fingers._

_The brunette franctically groped for the hand, but slowly, slowly, she felt as if the hand was drifting away…until all that was left was a disturbed wake of water as Brittany went down the deep blue sea._

Santana sat up on her bed, fully awake. She looked at the bedside digital cloc that sat on her bedside had just slept for thirty minutes, but it felt as if she can't dare or will herself to go back to bed. The sweat that hung across the forehead felt cold to the running air conditioner that was humming in a low tone.

The brunette made her way to the bathroom.

"God…" she mumbled as she washed her face with the running water and she looked at herself. She decided she'd make some tea to help her relax. She thought over her dream again.

_The heck, as if I knew that girl. Damn, Lopez, she's just a patient._

The doctor sat on her couch, sipping her tea. A few more moments passed and her thoughts drifted back to the blonde.


	2. Chapter 2: Realize

Santana walked through the hallway with her head held high. The resident doctors who had their intern under her supervision straightened themselves up, except for Noah Puckerman, who was leaning towards Sugar Motta's way.

"And Dr. Satan came around while I was mentally having sex wi-"

"Puckerman, shut the hell up or you'll not make it on your final year, you jerk!" Santana yelled.

"Sorry, doc," Noah quieted down as the other interns laughed out loud.

"Doctor Lopez, please proceed to ER 2, stat."

A murmured 'yes' fluttered through the air as the interns knew that their prayers for that day was answered. No Dr. Santana 'Satan' Lopez. It could only mean one thing: relief.

"Shit," Santana was already making her way to the ER.

_It's Brittany._

She stopped dead on her tracks. It's not just because _that blonde_ was her patient. It was something more.

_What more?_

The doctor went up to the room, and saw that the blonde was sitting up and is receiving some pills from Mike.

"Fuck, what happened?"

"Nothing. She just seemed to drop her BP for a moment and I thought it was serious," Mike said, almost apologetically and scared that 'Dr. Satan' might bite his head off.

"Oh," Santana said, making Mike raise his stare and look up at the smiling Santana. His face was cowered in shock and disbelief at the same time that Santana felt like cursing him in the face and laughing.

"Hey, Mike, can I feed her? Some sort of doctor-patient establishment of relation," Santana asked.

"Well, uhh…yeah," Mike said, handing Santana a tray full of food. His nervousness when he's with the Latina was never diminished, even though the doctor had been extra kind to him.

"Uhh…Dr. Lopez, I'll just be around, so…call me if you need anything."

"Yeah, Mike. Thanks," Santana softly yelled. Then, she averted her eyes towards the sitting blonde.

"Hi!" Santana said, wearing a big smile on her face. The genuine smile she wore was returned by the wimpy blonde.

"How are you today?" Santana asked.

"Fine, I feel better now, doctor."

"Please, call me Santana."

"Alright, Santana," the blonde held out her hand and stared into the dark-brown orbs. "Call me Brittany," she smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Brittany," that genuine smile again.

"Nice to meet you, too." Brittany held their gaze. "Santana."

It was more than what Santana could bear. Hearing her name spoken by the blonde was like honey to the doctor's ears.

"So, how do you feel like coming here?" Santana asked.

"Alright. I was happy I got to know you."

"Thank you," Santana smiled. Somehow, she felt so attracted to the blonde.

The conversation kept on rolling until the blonde finished her breakfast. They had discussed things that Santana would normally shut up for. The blonde had that effect on her.

It had been a week since their first meeting and the doctor never ended a day without spending time with Brittany.

"So, how was your heart, doctor?" Brittany asked with an impish smile on her face.

"No. I'm not dating anyone," Santana said, hoping that the next question would be what she was expecting.

But the blonde just folded her hands on her lap and looked down. It took Santana a mere second to avert the conversation.

"What about you?" Santana asked, somewhat dreading what might the answer be.

"His name is Sebastian. We've been together for two years, already. We work together in the same dance company."

"You're…you're a dancer?" Santana found herself stammering. She remembered what Rosa had said. Rosa said she'd fall in love with a dancer. Brittany is a dancer…

"Yes," Brittany replied.

_He's a dancer._

Santana felt the sweat trickle on her forehead. Could it be true that Brittany would be the one who would break the shell that wrapped around her fragile heart?

"Santana, are you alright?" Brittany asked, her face scrunched with worry.

One moment and Santana snapped back to reality. "What? Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, umm…I have to get to my next patient," Santana tried to find an alibi.

Fortunately, the blonde took the bait. "Okay. Take care, doctor."

Santana was bewildered. How come those words coming from the blonde just gets the best of her?

"Why?" Santana managed to ask.

"Because…" blue eyes sincerely met the brown orbs as Brittany looked at the Latina. "Who would take care of me?"

Santana let out a chuckle. Somehow this girl in front of her did not really know how much her world had turned upside down. She even doubted if Brittany could even sense her own inner dilemma.

Santana headed straight for the bathroom and went to the sink. She ran her hand on the cold water and splashed some on her face.

_This is just a phase. I might have these feelings because Rosa said I would fall in love with a dancer. It's not true. Besides, she seemed happy with a boyfriend. Probably this is just a phase. I might as well be considered ready for the asylum._

"Hey, snap." Quinn was behind Santana. "What's with you?"

"What?"

"You look so pale and shaken. Unusual."

"Huh?"

"What's wrong? I'm your best friend here in this stinking hospital, so you can tell me anything," Quinn said, combing her messy hair that almost looked like a nest.

Santana sighed. She always had a thing for Quinn, but she soon got over it because Brittany came into her messed-up life and she just found out that her ultimate girl-crush had an effin' boyfriend.

"What?" Quinn asked impatiently.

"Nothing."

"Ha! There's nothing yet when I asked you if something's wrong you sigh like it's the end of the fucking world and you act as if you are carrying the whole damned world upon your shoulders."

Santana sighed. Quinn was trustworthy, and she needed a friend. She sighed deeply again. She looked at her best friend.

"So?" Quinn raised an eye.

"Okay." Santana sighed and looked intently at the blonde in front of her. Quinn signalled her to continue.

"I think I'm in love with Brittany."


	3. Chapter 3: Glad to Have You

Brittany looked out the window and heard the door creak. It was Santana.

"Hey," she smiled as the raven-haired doctor shuffled on the foot of her bed.

"Hey, doc," Brittany called.

"Hi," Santana said indifferently. The brunette walked out towards the door.

"Hey, doc…" the blonde called. Her boyfriend, Sebastian just arrived.

"Yeah, what?" Santana quipped.

"Well, nothing. Have a good day," Brittany bent her head down.

"Okay," a short reply came from Santana. But, as soon as the blonde lifted her eyes, expecting to meet Santana's brown orbs, the doctor had already left the room.

And Santana ran for the bathroom. She slammed the door and sat on the closed toilet bowl.

"Fuck. Shit. Fuck!" Santana wailed.

_Why? Why does she have to get hurt?_

_Why can't Brittany just leave him?_

It was pretty clear for Santana. Brittany loved him and Santana was nothing but a friend. A sad realization came to Santana and she decided to build those walls Brittany had destroyed for her.

_Her world is so perfect with him and I'm not part of that world._

At first, Brittany thought that the Latina had just had a bad day at work but as weeks passed by, it all became clear that the doctor had been distancing herself from the blonde.

Brittany's eyes brimmed with tears as she leaned back on her pillow. It had been so hard for her. It had been three weeks since Santana stopped talking to her. The door opened and Santana went inside in her scrub clothes.

"BP is good," Santana said without looking up at her. Brittany then moved to the foot of the bed.

"Hey, Santana, I need to ask you something."

Santana looked up, there were dark circles under the Latina's eyes. "What is it?"

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"I am not avoiding you," Santana pretended to look at the health charts. But, truth to tell, her ear had been long deaf because of her heartbeat.

"Look, Santana, I know this is crazy, but I know you're trying to avoid me as much as possible and I want to know why."

"There's nothing to know about," Santana shook her head and started to leave. Just then, Brittany's boyfriend, Sebastian came through the door.

"Hi, babe!" Sebastian planted a kiss on Brittany's lips. It caused an ugly pout leave Santana's face. However, the blonde girl did not let it go unnoticed.

"Sebastian, this is Santana," Brittany introduced them.

"Hi, Tana. How are you?"

"I'm good. I'm just leaving…" Santana curtsied. She nodded to Sebastian, but completely ignored Brittany, causing the blonde's features to fail hiding the demeanour.

"Hey, I missed you…" Sebastian nuzzled Brittany's neck as soon as the doctor went out of sight.

"Sebastian…" Brittany pulled away, startling the brown-haired guy.

"What the actual fuck, Brittany?"

"Nothing. I just don't think you should do it," Brittany whimpered. "Not here," she said, scared that Santana might be in the corner.

"You know, besides…I don't like a girlfriend who's stuck in a hospital," Sebastian's eyes narrowed.

"Well, I don't want any boyfriend either!" Brittany yelled. Sebastian left the room angrily. He met Santana and Quinn by the hallway, ignoring the two girls.

"What the hell just happened? He looks like he'd kill anyone who goes his way," Santana said.

"Hey, don't ask me. He's your friend's boyfriend, right?"

"Argh, Quinn, you are such a bitch."

"And evil took human form in you," Quinn joked. They reached Brittany's room when Santana heard someone sniff.

"Hey, Quinn, suppose if I will just meet you back at the nurse's desk?"

Quinn gave her an understanding look. "Yeah, sure."

"Thanks. See ya." Santana turned her heels towards the door.

_What the hell is she doing? She doesn't want Brittany to hurt her, and she can't afford to fall in love with her completely._

However, Santana's resolve was a lost cause. Her mind shouted one thing, and her heart screamed out another. Her forehead scrunched as her inner dilemma battled on. Her heart had gotten the best of her.

She pushed the door open, and her heart bled out for the blonde who was crying her eyes out.

"Hey," Santana rushed to Brittany's bedside. "Take it easy."

"I…I've hurt him…" Brittany sniffed.

"What happened, Britt?"

"He…he…tried to kiss me," Brittany said.

"And?" Santana felt her heart race towards her temples.

"I shoved him off. He got so angry," Brittany's eyes were puffy.

"Oh…" Santana could sense her body turn rigid.

_Brittany is still in love with him._

"San…"

"Yeah?"

"Are you still mad at me? Please don't leave me."

"Why?"

"I feel so alone San…"

"I'm not leaving you, Britt," Santana held out her pinkie. "Pinky promise."

Brittany entwined her own fingers around Santana's. "Pinky promise."

They looked at each other and Santana started to feel awkward.

"Hey, San…is something wrong?" Brittany held Santana's hand.

"No. Nothing," Santana mumbled.

_Except that you're holding my hand and my heart is having aneurism._

"I just really hate him."

"What?" Santana groped for words to say.

"I hate Sebastian. Tell him I don't want to see him again when he comes back to visit me," Brittany said. Santana just nodded. The knot around her heart seemed to choke her.

"Are…are you okay, Santana?" Brittany asked softly.

"Ye-eahh…"

"You don't look like you are."

"No, really I'm okay."

"Okay. Can I tell you some more stuff?" Brittany said, hoping that Santana would say yes. "I just really need to get things off my head."

"Yeah, sure," Santana sat closer to the blonde.

"I don't think we really love each other anymore. He said he doesn't want to be with me anymore," Brittany said sadly.

"Hey, who knows? He'll just come around-"

"No. It won't be okay anymore. I think I love someone else, San."

_There goes my shot. Fuck._

"O-okay…" Santana's eyes grew into lifeless brown orbs.

"San…" Brittany fidgeted Santana's arm.

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

"Kind of," Santana looked away.

_Too much, Brittany. If you only knew._

"Hey, San, look at me."

Santana felt a hand cup her cheek, causing her to look at Brittany face-to-face.

"I love you, Santana. Look, I love you, not because I want to get over Sebastian."

If it was just another ordinary day, or if it wasn't Santana, Brittany could've laughed at Santana's face, which was drained out of colour.

"Please say you love me back."

"Britt-" Santana couldn't find the words to say.

"Please say you love me," Brittany whimpered.

Since Santana couldn't find the words, she pulled Brittany in for a slow, chaste kiss.

They parted for a little while after that, smiling at each other. They leaned their heads together, breathing together and tasting each other's breath. Suddenly, as if from a bad dream, the hospital's P.A. system barked out loud.

"Dr. Santana Lopez to OR 5, stat."

"Fuck. Shit," Santana cursed.

"I guess I'll see you around, then doctor. I love you, Santana."

"I love you too, Brittany," Santana smiled as she made a run out of the door.

"Go save lives, honey," Brittany spoke out.

"I love you!" Santana yelled as she disappeared through the door.

_Santana felt as if her legs weren't touching the ground. Not at all._


	4. Chapter 4: Fatality

Santana went through the rest of the day without snapping at Puck or at any other residents. She even smiled at Mike Chang by the hallway, which never went out of Puck's observing eyes.

"Hey, guys, bet me your wallets. What happened to Satan today?" Puck said as they were in the doctor's room. It had been two weeks since Santana's last insult was ever heard in the hospital.

"Pahh, don't ask me," Jesse St. James said.

"I don't even get it, she acts so weird this time. She did not even bother to bite the other Asian's head and smiled at him. Totally weird," Puck wiggled his eyebrows.

Quinn went inside the room and everyone started to look at her.

"What?" Quinn said, annoyed at the way people looked at her.

"What happened to Satan?" Puck asked, getting straight to the point.

"Why? What happened to her?" Quinn asked, trying to dodge Pucks question.

"We know that you know. Something's really off with Satan."

"Yeah, for one," Kurt Hummel, a resident doctor for two years in Dayton said as he waved a dismissive hand high up in the air. "She did not bite anyone's head today. I mean, like anyone of us, like for two weeks from now."

Quinn had to smile to herself.

_I think I know about that. Hah, Lopez._

"So, I get that was really weird," Puck said.

"Well, I don't know, really." Quinn said casually.

"Really?" Puck's eyebrows rose.

_Ooops, too casual._

"Yeah, really. Why not ask her? If she's in an extra good mood, then why not attempt asking her?" Quinn raised a brow.

"That would be like, poking a sleeping tiger with a stick," Blaine Anderson said.

"Well, then I can't force you." Quinn started to walk out the door and met Santana at the hallways.

"You're the talk of the town. Beware," Quinn mumbled as she passed beside Santana.

True to tell, Santana could really say Quinn wasn't kidding at all. When she entered the room, everyone got so quiet and shot her a very funny look. But, Santana ignored them all. Instead, she went to her locker and pulled out a fresh doctor's gown.

She quickly made her way towards the door and disappeared to the direction of Rosa's room. She needed to check on her vitals before she ends her shift.

She walked in on Rosa while the older lady was sitting upright on the bed again, staring blankly at the wall.

"Rosa?" Santana said, feeling very queer at what she's doing.

"Poor child," Rosa said, her tears falling silently down her eyes.

"What? Who?"

Rosa looked at Santana. Her eyes were full of pity.

"Poor, poor child," Rosa said, before breaking down to tears and heavy sobs. Santana had to sedate the old lady to make her stop. Santana had to call Quinn, too, and the nurse had showed up in no time. It was Quinn who sedated Rosa.

"I don't get it. I have a bad feeling about this," Santana mumbled as Quinn started to pack up her things.

"What did you didn't get?"

"I don't know. I just felt something bad at what she said."

"Why, Santana? I think you shouldn't really…you know," Quinn cocked her head sideways.

"What do I shouldn't do?"

"You know, believe in her…" Quinn nodded her head towards Rosa.

"I don't know…" Santana slumped on a chair.

"Why?" Quinn took her hand.

"She…she's the one who told me I'd fall in love…with…with a dancer…"

"That's maybe the sickest thing I've heard," Quinn crossed her arms in front of her.

"I-I don't know, Quinny. It's kind of freaking me out."

"Yeah, and you're pretty much freaking me out, Santana."

"Rd. Lopez to RM 446, stat," the P.A. system was heard loudly.

"It's her room…" Quinn shot Santana a look, but the Latina was already making her way towards the door.

Santana arrived at the room roughly in two minutes. Mike Chang was already cowered above the blonde, who was intravenously breathing.

"Asian, what happened?" Santana said, the worry was in her voice.

"She…just fainted a while ago," the man said. "Dr. Sylvester is running her some exams, so as to determine what really happened."

"Is she…is she going to be alright?"

"Santana…you're a doctor here, why are you acting like a paranoid?"

"I…I don't know, she's my patient and that would be too bad on my record if she'd stop breathing on me," Santana said, trying to ignore her rapidly-beating heart.

"Well, that explains it. Clearly," Mike said, unable to hide the sarcasm. Dr. Sylvester came inside and looked at Santana.

"Hey, Lopez, Director Figgins gave me the patient as an assignment, you can go home and rest. She's no longer your patient," Sue said softly.

_Bullshit._

"Why?"

"Cause you're overloaded and my patient just got out yesterday so I'm free," the elderly doctor gave her a warm smile. However, this wasn't returned by the Latina.

"Fine, I'm leaving," Santana grumbled as she took long strides towards the door.

"Hey, Santana…uhh, can you do something for me and for Brittany?"

"Yes?" Santana said herself say, automatically turning her head.

"Can you drop by the blood bank and tell them I need two bags of A+ blood? We really need to transfuse Brittany some haemoglobin so her body can completely recover," Sue smiled.

"Yeah, of course," Santana said, only more than willing to comply.

"Thanks."

"No problem, Sylvester."

Santana went to the blood bank, nodding a small nod toward Mercedes Jones.

"Hey, Wheezy, I need two bags of A-positive for tomorrow's drill so, you do your job right," Santana leaned on Mercedes' desk.

"I always do my job real right," Merceedes snapped, albeit softly spoken.

"Are you dating Sam Evans?"

"No, Santana," the black woman's eyes narrowed.

"Well, then, he claimed you two were. I just hope you're not, because he's no game. I tell you," Santana said and walked away, leaving a fuming Mercedes.

Santana flopped on her bed that night, but sleep wasn't on her side so she had to get up again. She slipped some lazy movie on her DVD player and grabbed a bottle of brandy to knock her off. She took several shots before deciding she had one too many, and turned off the movie, which she wasn't really paying attention to and she crawled up to her bed.

"Oh God, Brittany…" she mumbled softly as she closed her eyes.

Santana slept without too much trouble. And that was the trouble. Santana woke up the next day exactly two hours late for work. She showered in five minutes and nearly broke all the traffic laws as she drove through the highways in top speed. However, the odds seemed too difficult for the brunette.

"Fuck," she slammed hard on the brakes when she saw the red signal. She's late and very fucking late.

Her phone buzzed. Quinn was calling her.

"Yeah, Quinn looks-"

"San, where are you? Brittany was looking for you," Quinn said impatiently.

"Look, I'm stuck in the traffic. Tell some of my interns to help Sue Sylvester, please?"

"She wants to see you," Quinn ignored Santana's imperative statement.

"Try to ask Anderson, if he can help Sue," Santana said.

"Oh…I'm afraid the only one who's not on duty is Rory," Quinn clicked her tongue.

"Well, tell Rory to help Sue, and watch over my girl, she's precious." Santana hung up. She's going to make it, she swears she would.

_Especially that Brittany had been looking for her._

The Latina ran through the hallways and went into the blood bank, where Brittany was supposed to be. She had reached in time and was out breath because of running.

"They're inside. Wear a gown and a mask, S. Lo," Jesse St. James smiled at him.

It took her five minutes to change and she went inside the room. When she went through the door, she could instantly feel something was off. Then she remembered Rosa's words…

_The poor child._

_Who was the poor child? Was it her? Or was it Brittany?_

She chanced to pass by the bag and stared at the adjoining room. One bag was already three-fourths down. Soon, they will be using the other bag. Sue wasn't there and the doctors who were following up were Puck, Sugar and Blaine. Rory was by the monitor.

Everything seemed normal. The whole bag had been transfused to Brittany's system and Rory calmly took it from the IV pole. He quickly out it on a wash basin and rolled outside. Santana watched Sugar put the fresh bag of blood.

Rory wheeled out of the adjoining room and passed Santana on the way. The brunette felt that malevolent feeling again.

"Hey, Rory, can-"

The Latina was never able to finish her sentence as she saw the empty plastic bag. Her mind was telling her something yet her body could never comply. She knew she was suffering from shock.

"Stop the transfusion! Fucking stop it!" Santana yelled, but to her horror, the second bag was already empty too.

"What? Why?" Sugar asked innocently. "I'm sure these bags were-"

"Oh my God," Rory's mouth was wide agape.

"Holy fuck," Puck mumbled as they all went into the state of shock that Santana was in a few moments ago.

"We…we…just…gave her…two bags…" Sugar slumped on a bench as she struggled to admit their fault. "…of…HIV-Positive blood…oh my God…Oh God…" Sugar's eyes grew wide as a realization hit her.

"We put an HIV-Positive type of blood in her system. She's infected now," Puck said, barely a whisper.

"We…we…have killed her," Sugar looked up at Santana, not knowing what she would find on the Latina's eyes.


	5. Chapter 5: Forever Promises

Sue Sylvester bolted through the door, her hair in a mess and her scrub clothes were kind of crumpled.

"What happened?" she asked, her chest heaving.

"What happened? Look at this!" Santana said for the first time. Her tone was full of vehemence. And all the venom was directed to the four doctors in front of her, but most of all, Sue.

"This is your entire fault. All your goddamn fault!" the Latina threw the empty bags in front of Sue Sylvester and went to Brittany.

"I…I know what happened, Santana. You shouldn't be mad…it's…it's not their fault," Brittany said. "It's sad and very distressing, you know," her tears started to fall down from her cheek.

"Not their fault? Then whose fault is it?" Santana said with a hurtful voice.

"I…I don't know, San. It's no use trying to find out whose fault is it, because it's not…not going to help me anymore," the blonde suddenly broke into hysterical sobs and Santana hugged her.

"Shah…it's going to be okay…it will be fine."

"No…it's not going to be…in a few years or so, I'm gonna die…" Brittany whimpered.

"No, you don't die of…of…HIV…"

"I know, but I will soon have some sickness…I can't do that to you, Santana. I have to face this alone."

"No…you don't have to, I mean…I know you can face this alone…but I can't leave you…I'll never be able to leave you…" Santana smiled at her slightly and leaned her head on Brittany's.

"I…can't let you…stay," Brittany shook her head whilst the tears abundantly fell.

"No, I will stay…it will be hard, but…don't you ever doubt in me…in us…" Santana held out her pinkie. "Pinkie promise…"

Brittany weakly put her little finger over Santana's and entwined it around the brunette's. If it had been very difficult to Santana, it was twice as much to Brittany. The blonde already knew her life had changed during the past hour.

Her life suddenly seemed too small, too short. She couldn't hurt Santana…she just couldn't.

_She had to let go of Santana before she can hurt her._

Brittany had been wheeled out of the room and was transferred to another room. It was already twilight and Santana had finished her shift already, but she opted to stay with Brittany.

"Hey," Santana walked into Brittany's room.

"Hi," Brittany was staring out the window. She was softly crying, her tears quietly falling.

"Hey, it's going to be alright."

"It's done, Santana."

"Well, you'll still be alive, you know that."

"I don't know, Santana. Listen, we need to talk."

"O-okay," she sat by the bedside and took Brittany's hand.

"We're breaking up," Brittany said simply.

"What?" Santana thought she had misheard the blonde.

"I said, I'm cutting us off."

"Why?" Santana blurted out.

"Because…I can't hurt you. I'm not already the Brittany that you knew. My life had turned upside down already."

"No, you can't…you can't actually do that."

"I'm doing this for you…for us."

"For me? Wow, that's very comforting and the fact that you are indeed hurting me like hell makes it a lot more…charming," sarcasm dripped from Santana's mouth.

"You don't know what I am going through Santana…"

"Well, for one, you don't know what I am going through too."

"But, I can't be all that you want. You know that," Brittany said.

"What part of 'I'm not leaving you' did not get through your head?"

"San…"

"Look, I'm not leaving you, even if you want a break-up. You know what, I'll leave you for now and I'll see you tomorrow," Santana left Brittany, not letting her say something else in return.

The doctor pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the highway, but instead of making a left turn for her uptown house towards Lima, Santana turned right downtown.

Santana did not show up the next weeks until it turned into a month. Brittany hardly sees her and it is making Brittany feel so sorry for herself.

_She had left me. I regretted telling her that. But, what I did was just right. I can't hurt her._

Brittany's mind was playing hopscotch. Suddenly, she seemed to know what she had wanted to do.

She quickly rose up from her bed, and bolted out of the door. She ran towards the elevator and quickly went inside.

_She's alone. It was the best._

Brittany pushed the "up" button and let the elevator carry her towards the top floor. She quickly got out of the shaft and looked at the white double-door and thought for a while. Finally, she pushed it open and took the flight of metal stairs towards the rooftop.

The cold wind whipped across Brittany's pale face. She walked towards the railing and took a look below.

_It's treacherous._

The 10-floor hospital was not like ten stories high at all. It's like a tall 75-floor skyscraper from Brittany's perspective.

The blonde took in a deep breath and made a step above the first railing, her hospital gown fluttering in the strong, cold twilight wind.

She took another. And another and another until she was able to climb out to the other end of the railing. Her fragile arms held tightly to the rails, her knuckles turning while because of her grip.

She'd just jump and all the miseries will just fade into thin air.

"Brittany, I love you," a familiar voice called calmly.

"Leave! Or I will let go!" Brittany shouted.

"And if I leave, would you climb back and talk to me?" Santana said.

"I don't know!"

"You jump, I jump."

Brittany could feel Santana taking strides towards her.

"Stop right there or I'd…I'd…let go," Brittany threatened.

"Then, I'll have to jump." Santana was beside her, leaning on the railing.

"What's the hurry, Britt?"

"You don't understand, Santana!"

"Yeah, well, for all I know, I hate falling from a building and dying because of that. You know what will happen if you'd let go?"

"No," Brittany looked at her.

"Probably, you'd be lying flat there, dead, brains spilling out, bones dislocated and me…same state as you, laying there beside you," Santana said, cocking her head sideways.

"Well, you don't have to jump with me," Brittany snapped.

"I don't know, but I think I am…"

"Santana!"

"Hey, I remember, I had made a unicorn umm…drawing for you, but it's in your room, do you want to…come check it out?" Santana held out her left hand.

Brittany stared at the hand. She knew immediately she had to make a decision. She slowly extended her right arm and caught Santana's hand. She carefully turned and looked at the person she loved the most.

"I'm sorry, San…"

"I know, now take a step," Santana commanded coolly.

"Okay," Brittany took a step and climbed the first rail. A breeze blew and her gown fluttered through the wind.

"Careful, baby…" Santana said.

Brittany took the second step. However, she stepped on the hem of her patient's dress and she slipped.

"Santana!" she yelled in panic.

"Shit! Fuck, hold my hand!" Santana leaned out to take Brittany's arm and held it with her two hands.

"Start climbing up!" Santana said.

"Okay," Brittany did as what she was told, with Santana pulling her up. She made it over the railing with such great force that they both fell on the cement.

"You're so heavy…" Santana growled. Brittany, as soon as she heard the words quickly stood up.

"Sorry," she looked at her bare feet.

"I did not say get up," Santana quipped. "Come on, help me up…"

Brittany obliged, but as soon as she extended her hand, Santana pulled her in for a hug.

"Don't do that again," Santana grumbled.

"As long as you love me, Santana," Brittany buried her face on the crook of Santana's neck.

"Then you won't get another chance of doing it again," Santana chuckled. "'Cause I will always love you."

_Yes, I will always love you. No matter what happens._


	6. Chapter 6: Breathing As A Living

It was a pretty, summer afternoon. Santana was packing up personal things on the two-person couch as Brittany watched the doctor from a wheelchair.

"San, are you sure we'd do this?" Brittany asked.

"Course, yes. Why? Aren't you sure?" Santana looked up as her hands were battling with the duffel bag's zipper.

"No. I am pretty sure that I love you and I want to live in with you, but I'm just scared."

"Scared? Of what?"

"Sometimes, I just get a feeling that all of this is too good to be true. I don't know, I just feel that I don't deserve this," Brittany desperately searched Santana's eyes.

The brunette walked towards Brittany and landed her hand on the blonde's.

"Hey, you and I deserved all this. I love you so much," Santana hugged her tightly. She then quickly slung the already-closed duffel bag on her shoulder and wheeled Brittany out of the hospital.

Santana fumbled on her overcoat's pocket felt a box inside her overcoat.

_She'll ask her. Today._

"I love you, Britts." Santana sat at the back porch of her house, watching the small redwood tree that was standing in the backyard, bathed in the summer afternoon sun.

"San…" Brittany looked up to the doctor's eyes. She was leaning on Santana's shoulders.

"Don't tell me you're scared."

"I'm not…I'm…" Brittany couldn't make out the words as Santana put a finger softly over her lips, barely touching it.

"Shhh… quiet," Santana mumbled. The Latina took out an aqua-blue box and opened it, revealing a black velvet box inside it.

"Marry me."

Santana opened the box. A gorgeous platinum double-band engagement ring sat inside, waiting for Brittany to say yes.

The blonde looked at Santana with bewildered eyes. She was literally tongue-tied.

"A-are you…a-are you s-sure?" Brittany asked, still trying to recover from her shock.

"Yeah, do I look like I'm kidding?" Santana growled.

"I…umm…umm…"

"Please don't say no."

"Of course, I won't say no. It's just that I wa-"

"So, say yes."

"Look, why, Santana?"

"What?"

"Why do you want to marry me?"

"Duhh, because I love you and I know you're my soulmate…" Santana made it sound as if it was the simplest thing she could even say.

"O-okay…" Brittany nodded.

"So, say yes? 'Cause it's kinda freaking me out that you haven't said yes, yet."

"Yes, Santana, yes. I will marry you. But, you know, that it will be…hard."

"Hey, I believe in us, fiancé," Santana pulled Brittany in for a long hug as she stared out into the open. Of course she believed in their relationship.

Their wedding happened in a country chapel that weekend, but they put off the honeymoon on the next month. It was still June and they still have a whole summer ahead of them, together.

"Mhhhmmm…" Santana sniffed the aroma of Brittany's cooking. One thing she liked about her wife was her cooking. Santana just arrived from work and the mouth-watering aroma was enough for the Latina to pounce on a plate.

She walked in the kitchen and saw Brittany setting the table for two.

"Hey," Santana hugged the blonde from behind.

"Hey you," Brittany giggled. "How's work?"

"Fine. Only thing to rain on my parade was Rosa's health. It's not getting any better."

"I'm sorry for her. Really. It's not like, well, she feels like family to us," Brittany said. She was pretty close to Rosa already, and she had liked the woman during the first time she had met her.

"I know," Santana sat on the chair and let Brittany serve her.

"It's kind of depressing."

"Yeah, I just don't know if she can last very long. Yesterday the doctors found out she had lung cancer," Santana sighed.

"Oh my God," Brittany gasped.

"Yeah, that was my reaction, too."

"It's just…just…"

"Hey, Britt…sometimes, life's just like that. You know, you lose people you love."

Suddenly, Brittany shot her a pained, scared look.

"But, not now, Britt. I won't let that happen," Santana cupped Brittany's chin. "Let's eat," Santana said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, we should," Brittany dumped two heaps of mashed potato on Santana's plate. She also added vegetables and greens. She gave Santana a slab of pigeon meat.

"If hospital food is just like this," Santana smiled.

"Honey, you know it's not proper to complain when you're eating."

"Sorry," Santana said, bringing a spoonful of food into her mouth. She quietly and calmly ate her meal. There's one thing about Santana that could make her go quiet and calm at the same time, and it's Brittany's good cooking.

Brittany was the one who broke the silence.

"San…suppose I could drop by the hospital, and visit Rosa?"

"Yeah, sure. Won't be a problem," Santana smiled. She always loved how her wife cared for others.

"Thanks a lot, baby," Brittany beamed. "Umm…do you like the food?"

"You know my answer," Santana said.

"Say it, I want to hear it."

"Okay, if there's one thing that can make me stop complaining about things, it's my wife's cooking."

"Thank you, baby."

"Oh, well, what do I get in return?" Santana rubbed her palms together. It is her favourite part of the meal. Dessert.

"Well, I got you this," Brittany stood up and went up to the fridge. She took out two tall glasses, topped with different colours of fruits and a scoop of purple yam ice cream. Brittany also put rice crispies on top of it and some corn flakes.

"What is that stuff?" Santana's eyes popped. She's literally drooling at the sight.

"I saw this one on a fastfood chain I was checking out this morning with my Asian client," Brittany said.

"Mhhmmm…sure looks yummy."

"Yup, but the original one looks yummier than this. We should totally check out the place, San," Brittany put one in front of Santana. "I modified these two though."

Santana took a spoonful of the stuff.

"San, you don't have to do that. Laureen had to mix them all on her glass. Like this," Brittany quickly mixed the contents in her own cup together.

"Mhhmm…what is this called?"

"I don't know, I think it was Halo or something. Frankly I don't see a halo in it though."

Santana did what Brittany was doing. She then took a spoonful, tasting it.

"How does it taste?" Brittany asked.

"H-Heaven…" Santana muttered, savouring the taste in her tongue. "We really have to check that place out. Where is it located?" Santana inverted her glass on her mouth.

"It's downtown. Maybe by the weekend then?"

"Sure, that would be very great. I have a day-off on Sunday, let's do it?" Santana excitedly babbled.

"Sunday it is, then," Brittany smiled as she finished her own cup. Santana had long gobbled up everything in front of her before Brittany eve finished her own meal.

Brittany rose up and took all the plates and glasses to the sink. Santana also got up and quickly took a clean, damp cloth and a sanitizer to clean the dining table.

Housework was very easy for the both of them. They seem to share all of the housework together. After doing the dishes and cleaning off the kitchen, the married couple sat on the couch and sprawled out for a while.

Brittany took her time reading a book while Santana rummaged through their TV for shows and re-runs. The Latina punched something on the remote control, and then shifted to another channel, then to another.

"Unless you want a mash-up of every show on every channel available, then that's when you find the necessity to switch to twenty channels in a minute," Brittany teased without looking up.

Santana let out an exasperated sigh and sulked.

Brittany took the remote control and chose a channel. "There," she said with relief as the movie Rio flashed. "It's what you need."

Santana eased on her chair and finally calmed herself.

Santana was already immersed in the movie when Brittany looked at her.

"San?" Brittany said, putting down her book.

"Yes, Britt?"

"Do you believe in us?"

"Hell yes, I swear it on Blue's bald head. Well, seriously, yeah Britt, I do. I really do," Santana said, twisting her upper body to face her wife and completely forgetting the movie she was watching.

"I believe in us, too."

"I know. Thank you, Britt, for believing."

"I thought, I was deprived for the right to be loved and to love because of what happened."

"You know, for a moment there, I thought I lost you too," Santana leaned on the blonde's head.

"But look at us, Britt. We're so perfect, we're so happy."

"Sometimes, it gets me scared, San, that someday I will just lose all this in a heartbeat. I feel that one day, I'd lose this all…I'd lose you, because all of this is too good to be true, you are too good to be true," Brittany looked deep into the brown orbs.

"Sometimes, we deserve to have something special, and this is…special, we deserved this, Brittany," Santana said, clutching her wife's hand.

Santana cuddled on Brittany's chest. They stayed in the silence and Santana started to go towards the bedroom that they shared.

She needs to fall asleep before her sexual frustration catch up with her. She laid on the bed and closed her eyes. She prayed hard that she'd fall asleep before Brittany gets in.

There was only one thing that Santana had a hard time adapting to her married life with Brittany. And it was the abstinence on sexual acts. She often had to slap herself especially when they're sleeping together just to remind herself that she can't touch that woman.

Santana fell asleep afterwards, some few minutes before Brittany walked in. She smiled at the sleeping brunette and grazed her hand on the tan cheek, tucking a few raven-coloured hairs behind Santana's ear. Several tears ran across the blonde's cheeks. It was the same scene each night, they were the same words she'd say to her wife.

"I'm sorry today, Santana. I'm sorry I can't fulfil all my duties as a wife. I love you so much. Goodnight," Brittany settled beside her sleeping wife and turned in for the night, praying that the day that Santana's feelings for her would change would never, ever come.

_Never, ever._


	7. Chapter 7: Friends With Benefits

"Good evening, beautiful. Do you know what day is today?" Santana hugged Brittany from behind. The blonde was sitting on the couch.

"Good evening, Sanny. Happy monthsary to us," Brittany faced Santana and hugged her, twiddling her fingers around Santana's hair. It had been one month since they were wed and life seemed to be so happy for them both.

"How was your day?" the blonde asked lovingly.

"Pretty much hectic," Santana laughed tiredly.

"Hey, I'll give you a massage. After our special dinner. I've already cooked," Brittany went about the kitchen preparing the table. Brittany served her wife a hearty dinner. Santana took a spoonful, tasting the delicious chicken. Suddenly, her phone rang. Brittany picked it up.

"Hello?" the blonde said.

"Hello, it's Puck. Is this Dr. Lopez?" a man said from the other line.

"San? Phone," Brittany handed the phone to Santana.

"Who is it?" Santana mumbled through her meal.

"I don't know, some man named Puck," Brittany sat back to the chair. She could note the shift in Santana's happy look.

"Hello?" Santana growled, bringing a smile on the blonde's lips. Brittany could read Santana like an open book. She knows that the Latina was not happy about the phone call that just ruined their time together.

"What?" Santana spoke up.

"Okay…yeah…I'm going…" Brittany had inferred that Santana had to leave.

"Why?" Brittany asked as Santana clasped the phone off.

"It's my patient. I have to go," Santana said.

"Oh," Brittany said. It was the first time it happened.

"I'm really, really, really sorry," Santana wailed.

"It's okay, San. Run along now, save lives," Brittany smiled and stood up. She gave the brunette a big hug. Both women walked out of the house.

"I love you," Brittany said as she opened the car door for Santana.

"I love you more," Santana ignited the engine and smiled. Brittany bent over and laid a kiss on Santana's forehead.

"Take care when you drive," Brittany whispered.

"I will," with that, Santana drove away.

The drive was a short one and when Santana arrived at the hospital she was ushered by Quinn towards the ER.

"What happened?" Santana asked.

"She just had a cardiac arrest," Quinn said.

"Who?"

"Rosa Goldberg," Quinn said, halting because Santana dropped in her tracks.

"She had a what? Oh god," Santana ran towards the ER.

When she got there, a new doctor had already removed her right glove and looked at her, weirdly at first then it shifted to cordial recognition. Sam was also there.

"Tana, I'm sorry," Sam respectfully bowed his head.

"Is she alright?" Santana asked even if she already knew the answer.

"We lost her Tana. I'm sorry."

Santana stood rooted to her feet, and then suddenly, the brunette nodded. "Thank you, Sam."

Sam smiled softly and excused himself with Quinn. However, the other female doctor stayed on.

"Hi, I'm Rachel Berry," the doctor held out a hand.

Santana accepted the handshake. Rachel smiled again.

"Want some coffee?" she offered.

"Well, yeah…or yeah sure," Santana awkwardly said.

"Great," Rachel grabbed Santana's hand and walked with her towards the canteen.

"I'm new here," Rachel stated as they sat on a table by the far end. "I've heard you're one of the best doctors here."

"I heard them too. And well, Rachel, why did you get assigned here?"

"I went to work for Doctors Without Borders for a few years, and when I came back I heard that you don't have cancer doctors here in Dayton so I made up my mind that I'd go for it."

Santana gave out a small nod. Rachel was very cordial and Santana had actually thought she might like her.

Rachel Berry held out her phone. "Type n your number. You're my very first friend in this hospital."

Santana did as what she was told, handing the phone back to Rachel with a grin on her face.

"Thanks," Rachel giggled. Santana stood up.

"Going so soon?" Rachel's brows furrowed.

"Yeah, I sort of need to go home early. I'm supposed to be off-shift and someone called my wife…"

Rachel's face with demeanour, but it only lingered for a while.

"Oh, okay," Rachel mumbled.

"Yeah, sure…" Santana nodded to Rachel. "So, I'd better get going."

"Take care, Santana," Rachel said, albeit hesitantly.

"You too," Santana smiled and went out the door.

As she was driving home, Santana kept on thinking about Rachel. She couldn't forget the smile. She couldn't forget the way Rachel looked at her. And what scared her most was the fire Rachel had ignited inside her.

Santana arrived home and went inside the house. It was dark, but the room had the nightlight on at Brittany's side of the bed. Brittany had fallen asleep from waiting.

"Goodnight, B." Santana kissed the tuff of blonde hair. She turned in for the night and reached out to turn off Brittany's nightlight.

But sleep did not come to Santana. She kept thinking of the short, petite brunette she had met that night. After several hours of struggling to sleep, Santana managed fall into slumber.

The next morning, Santana woke up with her phone buzzing. She softly cursed under her breath, at whoever who might be calling her for the earliest of the morning.

_looking forward in seeing you at work today. Rach._

Santana wasn't really sure who it was. Then she remembered Rachel, and it brought a smile to Santana's lips. And then the lips faded when she looked at Brittany.

_God, why am I feeling this way? It's not like I'm cheating on Britt, but I feel like I'm cheating._

Santana finally realized she would have to get up from bed. "Morning," she mumbled as she walked in the kitchen. She was wearing her grey boy shorts and Brittany was wearing a knee-length athletic shirt.

"Morning, too." Brittany was fixing her a cup of coffee.

"Mhhhhmmm…" Santana looked at Brittany.

_Lopez, you can't cheat on her. Never, ever cheat on her._

The guilt that had been inside Santana was overpowering so she decide to dodge Brittany's presence.

"Hey, Britt, I'm kind of late today so, can I just go?"

"Yeah, sure. Umm, just wait…I uhh… I'll pack you some food. I know how much you hate hospital food."

Santana just nodded. Brittany is just…just so kind to her but she can't give her everything. And Santana knows that Rachel could fill that void.

"Hey Tana!" Rachel called her while she was walking down the hallway.

"Hi Rach. How are you?" Santana greeted back cordially.

"So, I was thinking if we both could grab lunch downtown. I mean we should totally check this place out, the one I've been last time," Rachel rambled.

"Well, I don't know, Rach…"

"Surely, it wouldn't matter to your wife if we…you know, hang out together."

"Yeah, well, fine. I'm going with you," as soon as the words came out, Santana regretted her words. But, Santana went with Rachel anyway.

"So tell me what did you see in your wife that you married her?" Rachel looked at Santana.

"I don't know," the Latina stared down at her plate.

"You did not know? Do you want her?" Rachel yapped.

"I don't know. It's kind of difficult to explain."

"I want you." Rachel said off-candidly. "It's not like I'm stealing you from your wife, but I want you, really."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is…no strings attached…friends with benefits, I just want to be with you, Tana."

It took minutes for Santana to weigh her answers. Finally, after what seemed like forever to Rachel, Santana drew in a deep breath and hissed through her mouth.

"I want to be with you too, Rachel. I just can't leave Brittany. There's a difference between wanting you and loving her."

Rachel just smiled. "I understand, Santana. Still, I want to be with you. So, friends…with benefits?" Rachel held out her right hand.

Santana sighed and took Rachel's hand. "Friends…" Santana smiled. "With benefits," she emphasized.


	8. Chapter 8: Truths and Realities

Santana stared at her phone as she went out of her last patient's room. A text from Rachel displayed at her screen.

_meet me at the Peak Hotel this afternoon, 3 pm. i left a key for room 1312 at the reception desk in your name. Rach. xx_

Santana stood rooted and closed her eyes. Rachel had ways of turning her on, ad Santana had been wanting her but she can't hurt her wife. There is no way she could. But she wanted Rachel.

_Damn._

Santana typed a text to her wife.

_gonna b l8 2nyt. take care. love you. S. xoxo_

The Latina then tapped out a reply to Rachel.

_on my way._

Santana walked through the revolving doors and smiled at the concierge. The concierge smiled at her.

"Can I help you ma'am?" he asked.

"Hi, my friend left a key for me for the room 1312."

The concierge turned to an array of keys behind him and took one from the shelf. He then handed the keys to Santana.

"Have a good time," the concierge smiled warmly, but Santana thought it as something so perky, as if the concierge knew something about her and Rachel.

Santana took the elevator and reached the thirteenth floor. When she stepped out, there was a queer silence as she heard her own heart beat against her chest.

At last, she stood in front of door 1312. She quickly swiped her key card and pushed the door open. The inside was dimly lit, and Santana could smell the scented candles.

"I'm glad you came," Rachel said. She was naked save for the simple black panties that she wore.

"I…ye-" Santana could almost taste Rachel's breathe on her lips.

"Rachel…" Santana whispered.

"I want you, so much, baby," Rachel rained kisses on Santana's face.

"Oh Rachel…" Santana muttered. It sounded like more of a moan than actual language.

"Santana…" Rachel called her, breaths shortened and heaving. Rachel unbuttoned her blouse, and then unzipped the tight-legged jeans Santana was wearing.

"Oh, Rachel…" Santana pushed herself towards Rachel's naked chest and tasted her skin.

"Oh, Santana…" Rachel moaned. Suddenly Santana was pushed towards the bed. The Latina let Rachel do anything she wanted, and she only gave it back with more passion than she ever had. Yet, Santana felt there was no trace of love on that bed. But, months of frustration and tension went exploding from Santana's system.

"Take off your underwear and spread your legs," Santana said in a husky tone, to which Rachel whole-heartedly obliged.

Rachel was a tigress in bed.

Santana woke up and groggily looked around the room. Rachel was sleeping soundly beside her. The Latina sat up in bed.

"Hey," Rachel mumbled as she rubbed the sleep off her eyes.

"I have to go," Santana said, picking up her clothes from the floor.

She quickly planted a kiss on Rachel's lips. "See you at work."

Santana arrived at the house a little after midnight. The house was dark, and Santana knew her wife was already asleep. She kicked off her shoes as she entered their bedroom and stroked the blonde hair.

_She's beyond guilty for cheating on Brittany._

She wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and burrowed her face on the blonde hair.

She knows what the problem is. She's too scared to take the risks of getting the disease herself. And they promised abstinence. Anyhow, Brittany had to know. And Santana had to tell her wife.

The next morning, as usual, Brittany was up first. Santana was wearing her old McKinley High Physical Ed shirt as she walked into the kitchen.

"How was last night?" Brittany asked innocently. Somehow it made Santana feel as if Brittany knew she was cheating on her.

"Good," Santana said, hoping that Brittany wouldn't have to ask anything about last night because it felt like crap lying her ass off to Brittany.

"San? You okay?"

_No._

"Huh? I feel so great," Santana said, in hopes that she might dodge all the questions fired at her.

"O-okay…"

"I gotta go to work."

"Okay. Take care. I love you," Brittany moved about the kitchen, stacking dishes and glasses. Santana might've guessed that Brittany had already known.

Santana was on her way towards the canteen when Rachel pulled her into a deserted ward. Rachel was tugging on her blouse and finally made her way under Santana's pants. It was months since their first sex and ever since then, Rachel and Santana always managed to sneak out and have sex ever once in a while.

"Rach…not here…"

"No one's looking…"

"Shh…" Rachel inserted a finger into Santana, sending bolts of lightning into Santana's system. The shorter girl built up with rhythm under Santana's legs.

"Not…uhhh ohhh fuck, Rachel," Santana kissed the other girl's lips.

"You look so sexy when you're cumming…"

"And you're such a gor-" Santana's eyes seemed to fall from her eye sockets when she saw Brittany's figure standing on the doorway, the look of pained expression was on the blonde's face.

"Santana."

There was no shock nor was disbelief in Brittany's voice, only pure sadness that Santana had an urge of running to the blonde and cradling her in her arms.

"I have to go." Rachel went out of the room in a heartbeat. Santana looked up at Brittany's eyes. There was no sign that Brittany would cry. If ever there was, she had successfully supressed it.

An eerie silence lingered, and then Brittany spoke in a calm voice.

"So…" awkward silence fell upon the room.

"Britt…I'm…I'm sorry…" Santana stammered.

"It's alright, Santana. I'm sorry I can't give you what she can give you, ummm…I think I should be going…" Brittany turned her back and slowly walked towards the door. Santana wanted to hug her wife and tell her it's alright, that everything would be okay, but Santana couldn't find the strength to do so.

Brittany left her standing in the middle of the empty ward. Rachel was there to comfort Santana.

"Tana…" Rachel rubbed Santana's back. "It's going to be alright…"

"Alright? I've hurt her, Rachel…I have to go talk to her," Santana rose up and went out of the hospital, running towards the parking lot.

She drove carelessly through the highways as she kept thinking of Brittany. The sad face Santana had seen was enough to tear her heart in pieces.

She bolted to the front door, and went up the stairs. Brittany was getting dressed in their walk-in closet.

_Perfect._

But she stopped dead in her tracks as she saw a duffel bag on the bed. Santana felt her head starting to go light.

"Are…are you leaving me?" Santana muttered.

"I…don't' know," Brittany could not look directly in Santana's eyes. "I just need some space to sort things out. I'm sorry, Santana."

"No…no…" Santana ran to the blonde and hugged her. "It's me who's supposed to be sorry. I'm sorry. I've been the worst…"

"No, Santana…" Brittany turned her back from Santana. She heard the brunette sniff.

"Shhh…" Brittany said. "I'm doing this for us, okay? I'm so sorry I can't be everything you want," with that, Brittany left Santana alone in their room.

Santana wanted to chase her wife, but by what right does she'd do that? The moment she cheated on Brittany, Santana had already lost the privilege of being a part of Brittany's life.

_She had lost Brittany long ago._


	9. Chapter 9: Life Without You

"Quinn, pick up…pick up your damned phone..." Santana gritted her teeth as she waited for the nurse to pick up the call.

"Hey, Santana!" Quinn chirped on the other line, the music in her background deafening.

"Quinn," Santana toned down her emotions, so as not to break down on her friend. "Can you come over? I need you."

"Why?"

"Just…come over, please, I need you Quinn."

Quinn appeared on Santana's door shortly after ten or fifteen minutes. A puffy-eyed Santana opened the door.

"Quinn…"

"Oh God, Santana, what's wrong with you?"

"Brittany…has left," Santana cried.

"What? Why? What happened?" Quinn wiggled her way through the dim hallway, cradling a crying Santana.

"She's…she's…" Santana broke off, hysterically sobbing on Quinn's arm as they sat on the couch. A few minutes passed in silence that was only indented with Santana's sobbing.

Neither women spoke.

"San…" Quinn rubbed Santana's back to help her calm down.

"Santana…" she said in a calm tone. "Tell me what happened."

"I…I…I was… I…" Santana sobbed. "I cheated…on her…"

"Why Santana?"

"I…I got so frustrated. We didn't do anything…but I love her…I love her so much Quinn. It's just that I…I got carried away," Santana said.

"Shh…it's not your fau-"

"Hell, it's my fault, Quinn. There are safe sex methods but I'm so scared to do it. I can't risk myself having the Sebastian disease. I just can't take the risks, Quinn. You know me when I do these things, and I'm not going to do things that I can't control in my hand full-time."

Quinn looked at the brunette as Santana. "San, you know there are a lot of medications to help you guys out."

"I know, but she wouldn't. She believed that if it's her time, it's her time. And she's just so paranoid. I can't take it, so when I saw Rachel…I took my chances."

"Do you love Rachel."

"No. There's a great gap between wanting someone's body and loving your wife. I'm not that dumb to see that, Quinn."

"But you still cheated on her."

"I couldn't take risks, Quinn. Listen, one single mistake and wham, then it's gonna be me and Brittany. At least, I'm keeping my own end safe here, Quinn."

"Is that how you see it, San? That Brittany wasn't affected with all this?"

Santana's forehead scrunched, but then, lamely nodded her head.

"Listen, Santana, you promised her forever. Try to be good enough for that promise."

"I know, but I'm human too, and for fuck's sakes, I'm human Quinn! I have needs. And she can't fulfil them."

"But that doesn't give you a right to cheat on her. Just because of what happened doesn't give you a permit to sleep off with other women, Santana. When you married her, it was a vow for eternity. And all that was Brittany goes with it. Accept the facts, Santana. What happened to you?"

"Nothing, Quinn. You can leave now. By the way, can you call Brittany? She's not answering my calls."

"Yes, Santana. What do you want me to tell her?"

"Tell her to come home and I need her."

"Okay, I'll leave you for now. Take care." Quinn stood up and left Santana, who just sat on the couch with a bottle of beer in her hand.

Her phone buzzed. Quinn might have actually called Brittany because the text message was from her.

_is it why u wnt me 2 be back? cuz u needed me? well, I'm not. don't call anymore. –B_

"Fuck. Shit. Fuck," Santana yelled and threw the bottle away, spilling its contents on the messy floor. She sobbed as she dejectedly sat on the foot of the couch, feeling drained and defeated.

_There is no chance she would get Brittany back._

Days turned to a week, then two, then three. Santana decided to go out that night. In her already-drunken state, she managed to drive to a bar downtown.

She finished a couple of beers and waved at the bartender.

"Give me a double vodka, on the rocks." The bartender got her drink when a man came up beside her.

"Hi. Sebastian Smythe."

"Santana, Lopez."

"You're kind of swaying, huh," Sebastian looked at the pair of twins on Santana's chest.

"Yeah, I'm kind of lonely."

"Uhhh-huh…"

"Spend the night with me…"

"What?" Sebastian grinned. It's his lucky night.

"Spend the night and have sex with me," Santana looped her arms around Sebastian's waist.

"Well, if you want to."

They made their way towards Santana's car and drove to the nearest hotel.

"San…" Sebastian muttered huskily.

"Yeah?" a drunken Santana giggled.

"Want another drink?"

"No. Bed. Now." Santana became so tipsy that she kissed Sebastian.

It was more than an answer to Sebastian. He quickly tore up Santana's clothes and carried her to the bedroom.

Santana was more than Rachel that night. She never cared. She couldn't give a damn at what had happened. Her life was over.

_It ended when Brittany walked out the door of their house for the last time. And out of her life._

But she called Brittany's name when she was with Sebastian.

_Brittany might've left. But she still loved her. With all her heart._

She woke up the next day, disoriented and just remembered what had happened the last night. It made her bolt up from her bed like a firework.

"Sebastian?" She fumbled for a body next to her, but there wasn't any.

He's probably gone home. Santana moped the hotel room for her clothes and got dressed. She drove back to her house and sulked back to the couch that had held her for the past days.

The weeks passed. Still, Brittany didn't call. Nor did the blonde text her. Just like the days that had passed, she tapped out a text to Brittany.

_Britt, please. love me back. give me another chance._

Santana closed her eyes, and just like other days, she's not expecting for Brittany's reply.

"Britt, you don't wanna answer that phone?" Sugar Motta, Brittany's friend and co-worker asked. The blonde was sitting on the couch, slouching and was lost in her on thoughts.

"Britt!" Sugar yelled on Brittany's ear. The phone on the book shelf was literally blowing off.

"What?" Brittany answered softly, her pale face looked up at Sugar.

"It's Santana. Again."

"Leave it." Brittany's voice said angrily.

"Britts, do you really hate her?"

Brittany did not answer.

"She's clearly pleading, Britt," Sugar said worriedly.

"I know."

"Why can't you forgive her?"

"I don't know. I can't afford to be hurt. I've hurt her, too."

"Know what, Britts? If you really love her, you'd forgive her. Or at least, answer her desperate text messages."

"Okay," Brittany stood up to get her phone.

It only took a fraction of a second for Sugar to shout for help as Brittany just fell down on her legs. Sugar was instantly beside her friend, but Brittany was unconscious. She called for an ambulance and without second thoughts, she dialled Santana's number.


	10. Chapter 10: Back To Square One

Santana Lopez woke up with her phone ringing uncontrollably from her wall charger.

An unknown number was calling her.

She looked up at the digital timer beside her bed. It was still seven in the evening. She rolled on the other side of the bed, not surprised that there was some man beside her, some man that she didn't know.

It was Sebastian.

He came over an hour ago and spent together in bed, whilst Santana ignored the consistent phone ringing these past minutes.

She wrapped her naked body with the blanket on her bed. Sebastian was naked as she was, sprawling contentedly beside her. She answered the phone call from Quinn.

"Who the fuck is this? At least let me get some sleep!" Santana grumbled. She had been working twenty hours a day and she just had an off for a few hours. Hours which she spent on bed with Sebastian Smythe.

"Santana…" Sugar's voice sounded panicked.

"What? Who are you?"

"It's Brittany…she's…"

"Who?"

"She…she's fainted," Sugar's voice was mixed with frantic sobs.

"What?" Santana automatically rose up from the bed.

"Where are you? Who are you?"

"I'm Sugar, Brittany's friend and we're in Dayton. Please, come over here, I really don't know what to do with her."

"Alright, I'm coming," Santana quickly slipped into a pair of jeans and sneakers. She also slipped in a V-cut white shirt. She couldn't care less if she looked bad but she needs to get to her wife.

And she needs to get there fast.

She woke Sebastian up.

"Hey, get up. Time to go."

"Huh?" Sebastian whisked his head.

"Get up. Get your clothes on."

"Okay." Sebastian put on his clothes and walked down the stairs, following the Latina.

"Bye, Tana." Sebastian said as he went out of the house. Santana just nodded as she climbed in her car and drove full-speed towards Dayton County Hospital.

"Where is she?" she asked at the nurse's desk as she looked for Brittany's name.

"She's in the ER ma'am," the nurse said respectfully.

"Thanks." Santana ran towards the ER. She saw a lanky little girl beside Quinn and approached the two women.

"Quinn, where is she?" Santana asked.

"Inside," Quinn answered, her hands rubbing the hysterical brown-haired girl.

Santana walked towards the door and peeked inside. When she did and saw Brittany, her heart seemed to be torn from the insides.

Her wife looked so pale, so thin and so…weak. She couldn't comprehend as how much her wife had lost in her weight since the day she moved out. Santana couldn't help but notice the dark circles under Brittany's eyes.

Sam Evans walked out from the ER, and seeing her fellow doctor Santana quickly asked about her wife's state.

"How is she?"

"Santana…we need to talk, in my office."

"Okay," Santana felt a lump in her throat that seemed to choke as she followed the blonde- haired doctor.

"What is it you want to talk about? Is it the virus?" Santana took a seat in front of Sam's desk.

"Santana, yes. There's something that's so unusual of her virus. It's drastically affecting her body and it is degrading her chances of survival. Dr. Lopez, I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry Santana. This is a different kind of HIV disease, and we don't if there's a cure. I just wasn't you to know that you had to abstain from the usual stuff and…you know. Have you had sex before?" Sam cocked his head.

"I…I know…I kinda felt it coming…" Santana muttered. "We have been abstaining, since we got married. So, no, we didn't."

"Oh, that's good to know. Because, we are still figuring it out and you just might get infected in a single slip. For the moment, I suggest you should take extra care. You may leave now, to tend to her."

"Yes, I should be going. Thank you," Santana left Sam in his office. She had made her resolution. She's going to fix her marriage.

The room was quiet, except for the soft beeping of the monitors.

"Turned out she's pretty burned out," Quinn looked at Santana.

"Yeah," Santana answered softly.

"Why are you doing this? Do you like hurting her?"

Santana was taken aback by Quinn's question. "Hang on there, Miss Mommy. I don't like hurting her. I can't do that. Look I admit I'm such a big jerk. So, please, zip your mouth and think before you speak."

"Please, Santana. You smell like sex."

"Look, I'm going to be honest with you Quinn, I'm sleeping with Sebastian, but I am regretting it. And you have to know that. And I'm going to tell Brittany about that, and fix everything between me and my wife, okay?"

"Santana…" Quinn softly said. "I'm your friend, and I am Brittany's friend too. Well, not as intimate as us, I would add, but you're both hurting. Both your ends."

"I know, Quinn. I just love her so much but, I've been such an ass lately…" Santana drawled the tears start to come up the surface again. Both women were not aware that Brittany was awake.

Brittany watched Santana draw in deep breaths as she tried to calm herself.

"Quinn," the blue-eyed blonde softly spoke.

"Yeah?"

"Can you leave us, for a while?"

"Yeah, sure. I have to go talk to my patients, too. You know, save lives…stuff," Quinn rose up awkwardly, feeling as if she just walked in to some private meeting. The emerald-eyed blonde quickly moved to the door and left the room.

It was just the both of them.

"Hey," Santana said first.

"Hey," Birttany replied. A short awkward silence hung upon them.

"San…" Brittany said as Santana called her.

"Britt…" Santana said the same time as Brittany said her name.

There were no words to speak anymore as Brittany was crushed in Santana's loving embrace.

"I missed you, I missed you," Santana sobbed.

"Oh, Santana…I'm so sorry," Brittany cried, burying herself on the raven-coloured hair.

"I'm so sorry. I ditched her, I couldn't live without you, Brittany. Life sucks without you…"

"I know…"

"And I just don't love you because I need you, I love you just because…because…I love you so much. I can't be complete without you…please, come home…Britt…please come home…"

"I will, San…I'm so sorry. What I did was highly stupid. I'm sorry I can't be the best wife you could ever get," Brittany wailed.

"No, baby. You are just so great and so perfect, please don't say that you're not. I love you so much and the house just so feels so…empty without you here. My life feels so empty without you…"

Brittany held out her hand and put it on Santana's own hand. "You still wear our wedding band," she smiled quietly.

"Yeah, and you still wear yours," Santana rested her forehead on Brittany's forehead.

"Forever…"

"Forever…" Santana entwined her little finger around her wife's.


	11. Chapter 11: Gift or Curse?

Brittany woke up to the dark skies that day. Although there was a faint glow of pink in the east, Brittany could hardly make out anything around the room, save for a murmuring raven-haired woman beside her.

"B-Britt…"

"Yeah, San? Are you having a dream?"

"Britt…" Santana seemed to be taking no heed.

"Yeah?"

"Love you…" Santana said the slurred words.

Brittany smiled as her sleeping wife mumbled incoherent words in her sleep. She leaned her head towards the brunette, closing her eyes and started humming a soft lullaby.

Santana woke up and rose up from her uncomfortable sleep. Suddenly a wave of nausea washed over her. She quickly stood up and ran to the adjoining bathroom.

"San?" Brittany asked worriedly, instantly awake from the commotion and hearing Santana's vomiting in the adjacent room. Santana quickly went out of the bathroom.

"Oh, Britt…good morning…" Santana smiled awkwardly at her wife. "Here, let me sit you up," Santana rushed to Brittany's side.

"I'm getting out tomorrow," Brittany softly said.

"Yeah, I was informed. Want me to get your things form Sugar? I'm going home for a decent shower and some decent clothes."

Brittany nodded.

"Can I have her address?"

"Of course," Brittany let out a laugh.

_Everything's all right._

She gave out Sugar's address. "Hey, San, can you buy me a few fruits when you get back?"

"Of course. Want me to sit with you at breakfast?"

"Of course, love you," the blonde just randomly said.

"Ha-ha…love you more," Santana quipped.

The couple spent the morning together, up until Brittany had finished up her breakfast.

"San…" Brittany looked up at her.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For coming back," Brittany smiled. "But I hate you, for stinking. Go home, get a shower, and then come back."

"O-okay…I get it, you're sending me away," Santana said, brushing off a stray lock of brown hair across her face.

"No, Santana, I love you. You just, stink."

"I know, I know…" Santana laughed. "I'll go and do what my wife wants me to do now…" the brunette kissed her wife's forehead.

"I love you, San," Brittany whispered.

"I love you, too," Santana started to leave for the door.

_I love you, Santana, so much that even if you cheat on me a thousand times, i know I will always love you_

"Brittany?" Quinn walked in the room.

"Yes? Hi, Quinn."

"Hello," Brittany smiled warmly. "How are you?"

"Great," Brittany motioned for Quinn to sit beside her.

"Brittany, I'm your friend, and I am Santana's friend too, but I…there's no easy way to break this to you, but…" Quinn sighed. Instantly, Brittany took Quinn's hand.

"I know, Quinn. I know."

"You don't get it, do you?"

"I do. I'm sure I do get it. I get it more than all of you do," Brittany sighed.

"But, she hasn't told you anything yet!" Quinn blurted out.

"Yes, but I know. I saw it coming. I can't even think…how I even managed to marry her," Brittany said.

"Married who?" Santana was by the door, eyeing them suspiciously.

"I…I think I should leave…" Quinn awkwardly said and excused herself.

"What were you talking about?"

"It's nothing, San…"

"Nothing? You actually said you can't even think how you managed to marry me!"

"I know you're cheating."

Santana's mouth ran dry.

_How did she know? Did Quinn just tell her?_

"Who told you?"

"I guess I kind of saw it coming, San…"

"Look, I don't want to go back there, Britt. I'm not what I was before. It's you and me now…"

"But that's exactly what you promised before you cheated on me. On us."

"Well, what do you want me to do just to convince you that I am serious about what I'm saying?" Hot tears fell from the Latina's eyes.

"San…I just want to know…Santana, does it make you happy? Because, if you are, I'm letting you do it. I can't let you suffer because I'm suffering too."

"Brittany…" Santana sank uncontrollably on the bed.

"I can't just…think…"

Santana hugged her tightly. "I just want to be with you. I love you."

"Santana…"

"Brittany, please. Just let me prove this to you. Just let me make it up to you."

They sat like that for a while, constantly filling each other's lungs with each other's scents. The emotional breakdown had taken the toll on both women.

Santana spent the night on Brittany's hospital room that night and made plans for the morning.

_She's going to drive her home and carry her upstairs, cuddle with her. She's going to take her to the duck pond in the afternoon. She's going to take her to rides, spend time with her under stars…_

Another wave of nausea hit her, waking her up from her uncomfortable sleep, making her bolt up and run for the bathroom.

"San? You okay?" Brittany sleepily called.

"Yeah?" Santana said, although she's did not believe herself in saying it…

The move that morning wasn't eventful, Santana just decided to push off the ugly thoughts lurking in her mind. When she was walking in the main lobby, the same nauseous feeling was back again, causing her to rush back towards the bathroom.

_It's not normal._

Santana looked at herself in the mirror. She's paler than normal, and she had chapped lips.

_God, please forbid._

Santana drove with Brittany towards their house. The blonde held out a pale hand and turned on the car stereo.

An old tune played.

_**close your eyes…**_

_**I'll keep you safe…**_

Santana smiled.

"Hey, Britts, I'm going to go pick up some of those yummy gummy vitamins for you, will that be okay?"

"Mhhmmm…" Brittany said.

They pulled up in front of the pharmacy.

"Britts, wait here for me. Be back in a few minutes, okay?"

Brittany nodded. She's far too happy to even think of Santana doing something else that could disappoint her.

Santana grabbed a packet of the vitamins, but she also purchased a pregnancy test kit. She put it in the inside of her leather jacket and went back to Brittany.

"Hey," she plastered a fake smile on her face. Brittany returned a smile to her, this time…so real.

"Let's go?" Brittany raised an eyebrow.

"Course," Santana revved up the engine.

They arrived at the house, roughly at about ten in the morning. The house was neatly kept, and freshly-washed curtains hung at the windows.

"Hmm…nice housekeeping," Brittany smiled.

"Ha-ha…" Santana let out a sarcastic laugh. Truth is, she had just picked those curtains from the clothier the day before. She just hired two women to clean off the house.

"Okay, do you want me to make lunch? I'm starving…" Brittany smiled.

"No, baby…let me. You take a rest. Let me turn the TV on." Santana switched the TV on and played the Titanic.

Santana made a lunch for them. At around two, the blonde was softly taking a nap on the couch.

_This is it, Lopez_.

She stood in front of the mirror, waiting for the result of the pregnancy test. Suddenly, it beeped, indicating it's ready to give out a 99% accuracy.

The colours on Santana's face seemed to drain as she saw the double line on the screen. She wanted to scream, she wanted to run and hide, she wanted to freak out but she can't. She wanted to crumble down.

_She's pregnant._


	12. Chapter 12: Sacrifices

She's pregnant. And her wife needs to know. Sebastian neeeds to know. She called Sebastian first.

"We need to talk, right now," Santana said.

"Okay. Where?" Sebastian replied.

"At the park. There's something you need to know," Santana strengthened her disposition.

"Fine."

Ten minutes later, Santana was sitting beside Sebastian, face unemotional.

"I'm pregnant," Santana said with an air of exhalation.

"What?"

"I'm pregnant. For almost three weeks."

"What? Why? We used protection all the time we have sex!"

"Listen, the only way to have safe sex is to never have sex. You know that. Now, that this had happened, what do you want to do with it?"

"Can't…can't you just… abort it?"

"I might be a sex shark, but I'm no killer," Santana said.

"I know, but…but you're married! And she won't like it. I don't want to keep it either."

"No matter what, I'm keeping the baby."

"Look, if you…God, Santana I'm not taking the child. Forget it." Sebastian stood up and left. It was the last time she'd see Sebastian.

_She's keeping the baby. And she's telling Brittany._

She drove home, not knowing what to do. Not knowing if what would lie ahead of her.

She arrived at the house, which was as usual, was springing in life. She chanced to see Brittany in the kitchen.

"Where were you?" Brittany innocently asked.

"I…I was at the park…"

"Mmmm…" Brittany just nodded.

"Hey, umm…Britt, there's something I should tell you."

"What is it, San?"

"I…I…uhh…can we sit for a while?" Santana awkwardly said.

"Yeah," Brittany took a seat.

"Britt…when you weren't here, I had a lot of…sexual affairs, after Rachel."

"And?" Brittany said calmly.

"Britt…" she dared to look into the blue eyes.

Brittany looked at her sympathetically, as if urging her to continue.

"I'm pregnant."

"Santana…" Brittany said, her voice was barely whisper.

"Look, I know. I'm sorry, Brittany," Santana waited for Brittany's vindication.

"It's all right Santana," Brittany quietly answered. "Do you love him?"

"No. He doesn't want the child either. I think, I'm just going to leave Ohio, start a new life with my child. Whatever."

"What about us, Santana?"

"I…I don't know. I feel so sorry, so guilty of what I've done. There's no way I can make it right again, Brittany."

Tears fell from the blonde's eyes.

"You don't love me anymore?"

"Of course, I love you Brittany. It's just that I can't hurt you, not anymore."

"When you leave, it will hurt more, Santana…"

"But, all this time, I caused you pain," Santana's first tears fell from her eyes.

Brittany stood up and walked towards the window.

"Do you know anything about love, Santana?"

Santana could just bow her head.

"Love can't happen without sacrifice. And I am sacrificing for all that we are, Santana. I love you, and I'm willing to help you raise your kid. Our kid."

"Britt?" Santana whispered.

"Yes?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm willing, Santana. I don't want to ask anything from you. We promised each other forever, right?"

"I guess so."

"Just promise me one more thing San. Promise me like if you really mean it."

"What is it?"

"Promise me we'd never let go I this marriage."

"I promise, Brittany Pierce. I promise," Santana hugged Brittany.

_She meant it. She meant her promise to Brittany._

Five Years Later

"Mama!" a dark-haired girl ran from the porch as Santana's car pulled up.

"Lexie!" a voice called from the kitchen.

The girl stopped halfway on the porch. "Mommy? It's Mama! She's home!"

The blonde followed the little child and met the Latina doctor.

"Hi, San…how's work?"

"Hey, Britts. Umm, very fine. What about you? How's your day?"

"Great, we baked cookies today," Brittany smiled.

"Mmm…sounds yummy," Santana muttered as they moved to the kitchen, leaving the four-year old on the living room to play with the dog.

"Hey, ummm Britts, I just wanna ask something, do you like Switzerland?"

"Probably, why?"

"Wanna spend a few weeks there?"

"Well, I'd like to. But, who's gonna look after our home? The plants, stuff…"

"Brittany, that's the house…home is us. Me, Lexie, and you. Us, Britt, us. And you have done more than enough in looking after that home. I want us three t be together. Not to mention your health, we're going to Rome, pay up a little pilgrimage to thank Him for all that we've got. All that I've got, actually…"

"Santana…"

"I always love it when you do that."

"San…" Brittany smiled. "Welcome home."

"I know. I'm home forever."

The brunette hugged the blonde. She's more than home.

_She has found her place in the world_.


	13. Chapter 13: Author's Note

Hello, first of all I would like to thank everyone for the reviews. That really helped me a lot guys. Also, I would like to apologize to all who had been disappointed at my story. Sorry, this isn't really the greatest fic you could ever find. And yeah, thank you so so much guys! You are all so awesome. :)


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